The speed of communication always keeps me amazed. I’m out having a great time tonight after spending two full days in bed; crying, sulking and feeling completely effed up.
Apparently within 10 minutes of arriving in the last bar of the night, my ex is up to speed with me going out.
I speak to him on IM afterwards *like now* and he laughs it away, every notion of me being emotionally FUCKED for the last two days gets no reply or something.

Which brings me to the part that amazed me most over the last few weeks: despite that his feelings as a lover for me are gone, could he not care for me as a friend or human who is feeling alone/fucked up/confused and depressed? It’s as if I vanished off the earth for him, until I resurface by sending him a message and he feels obligated to reply. Ugh. And the same thing with meeting up; I never get the idea what he wants and if there somewhere deep down still is the INTENTION of getting back together regardless of the feelings he has currently. Whatever. Let him be. I am supposed to move on, only can hope i’ll do that soon.
(gawd booze DOES really bring the real words out huh?)


~ by GJ on Saturday 11 August 2007.

One Response to “Amazed.”

  1. Not to put too fine a point on it GJ, he’s a waste of time. Yes you had good times, yes it was nice. But it’s over, he’s moved on and now it’s your turn. Grab your good friends, embrace now, and enjoy yourself.

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